we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
