yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
