dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
