every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
