His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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