so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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