I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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