Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
