..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
