just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the day after is always just damage control
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
