This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
organizing the empties. That sober.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
