i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
