If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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