we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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