This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
