we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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