belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
