he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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