even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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