At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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