I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm getting married
To pizza
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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