i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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