Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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