Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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