If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
