Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
