I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
