omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
