my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
