I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
