i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
