help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize