so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
