we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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