Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
