I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
