dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize