How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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