He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
