just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
