I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Come on in and take your pants off
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