ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
