thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
