i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
