Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
