May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
