So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
