I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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