If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I love you.
Bad choice
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
that may or may not have been my penis.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
