What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize