if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
