so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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