so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
