i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
