I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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