wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
