it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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