Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
