She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
