I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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