Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
