butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
