i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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