i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
